Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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