it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
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