I look better un-naked...
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
