Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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