She announced her abortion via fbk
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
