I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
