I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Randomize
