His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
