We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
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