After last night, I could never be a politician.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
