the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
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