Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
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