Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
