dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize