Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Randomize
