so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
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