it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Randomize