just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Randomize
