the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize