we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
