If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
