"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
