This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
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