it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Randomize
