Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
