omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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