id be glad to
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
