if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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