umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Randomize
