I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
