You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
