I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Randomize
