We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
