I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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