would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Randomize