I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize
