Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
