Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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