We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
