Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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