I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
