4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
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