I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Randomize
