Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
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