I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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