New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Be still, my beating vagina.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Randomize
