hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
