So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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