What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
