Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
