A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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