An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Just pee around me
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
