haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize
