You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
