he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
