She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Randomize
