You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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