Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Well apparently he's into motor boating.
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize