Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
