Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
