you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
