I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Randomize