I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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