she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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