Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Randomize
