Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
He kissed a someone with a penis
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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